resilience

Healing isn’t a one-and-done thing. It’s a gritty journey of moment-by-moment strength that actually doesn’t feel all that strong at all. ⁠⠀
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I cry behind closed doors.⁠⠀
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“I can’t do this anymore.” I send those texts often. ⁠⠀
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I rehearse faithless untruths to my people. ⁠⠀
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I pull my weighted blanket over my head and hide from the world, because healing is more desperately exhausting than I could’ve imagined. Wading into the junk of pain is a dirty job nobody willingly applies for. ⁠⠀
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But the hard work of healing creates beauty like I’ve never seen before. ⁠⠀
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I battle for hope on the reg, you know. Because grief doesn’t play fair—it slices and dices and re-opens the wounds you thought were stitched together. Grief knows how to slash my victorious hope at its knees. One moment I’m up, celebrating God’s faithfulness; the next, I’m down in the pit, angry at what’s been stolen from me, planting my roots in the idea that it’s not supposed to be this way, and it’ll always be this way. ⁠⠀
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I struggle. But there’s this wild word I love so much, and I see God’s grace planting it in me: resilience. ⁠⠀
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Every time His strength helps me put one foot in front of the other—resilience. ⁠⠀
Every time I process pain and then release it—resilience. ⁠⠀
Every time I choose to live in the reality that there’s more to my story—resilience. ⁠⠀
Every time I celebrate the faithful ways Jesus shows up with breaths of comfort—resilience. ⁠⠀
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And if you’re carrying pain heavier than you could’ve imagined, I think this is what I want you to know:⁠⠀
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It’s okay if you don’t feel strong.⁠⠀
Be kind to yourself. ⁠⠀
You don’t have to smile through the pain. ⁠⠀
The up-and-down struggle is part of the journey.⁠⠀
If you’re out of faith, that’s okay, too. Ask someone if you can borrow theirs. ⁠⠀
Do the next thing. ⁠⠀
Eat. Eat the carbs. ⁠⠀
⁠Jesus knows. ⁠⠀
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Jesus carried your crushing pain for you. And one day, He’s going to get rid of tears and pain and death—and if that’s the only hope you can hold onto today, that’s okay. Hold tight. ⁠⠀
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Healing isn’t a feeling. It’s a battle in the trenches, and it’s for the resilient strugglers, the exhausted hopers like you and me.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. | Revelation 21:4–6